Movie Quotes: Where Do Writers Get this Stuff?

Here is an interesting quote from Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) in the film As Good As It Gets

Never, never, interrupt me, okay? Not if there’s a fire, not even if you
hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there’s a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you’re going to faint. Even then, don’t come knocking. Or, if it’s election night, and you’re excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudgepacker that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States and he’s going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don’t knock. Not on this door. Not for
ANY reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?

There are so many, but some of my favorites are from the PIXAR animated films for family viewing. Here’s another one, but I’ll leave the movie for you to guess:

[Bulb on the fuel guage is flashing]
Kowalski: Skipper, look.
Skipper: Analysis
Kowalski: It looks like a small incandescent bulb, designed to indicate something out of the ordinary, like a malfunction.
Skipper: I find it pretty and somewhat hypnotic.
Kowalski: That too, sir.
Skipper: Right. Rico, maunal!
[Catches the manual and smashes the bulb with it]
Skipper: Problemo solved.
Kowalski: Sir, we may be out of fuel.
Skipper: What makes you think that?
Kowalski: We’ve lost engine one, and engine two is no longer on fire.
Skipper: Buckle up, boys. Don’t look, doll, this might get hairy.
[on the microphone]
Skipper: This is your captain speaking. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we will be landing immediately.
[everyone claps]
Skipper: The bad news is, we’re crash landing.
[Plane goes on a dive]
Skipper: When it comes to air travel, we know that you have no choice whatsoever, but thanks again for choosing Air Penguin.


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2 responses to “Movie Quotes: Where Do Writers Get this Stuff?”

  1. From Talladega Nights with Will Ferrell (The guy who played “Mustafa” in Austin Powers)

    Jean Girard: My name is Jean Girard and I am a racing-car driver just like you except I am from Formula Un. I am the greatest one in the whole world. I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby.
    Ricky Bobby: I can’t understand a word you’ve said the whole time.
    Cal Naughton, Jr.: Did you eat some peanut butter or something?
    Ricky Bobby: Yeah, you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth
    Jean Girard: I think what you are hearing is my accent. I am French.
    Ricky Bobby: You say you’re French?
    Jean Girard: Oui.
    [sounds like ‘We’]
    Ricky Bobby: We? No, we are not French. We’re American, because you’re in America, okay? Greatest country on the planet
    Jean Girard: Well, what have you given the world apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the ThighMaster?
    Ricky Bobby: Chinese food?
    Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chinese food.
    Jean Girard: That’s from China.
    Ricky Bobby: Pizza.
    Jean Girard: Italy.
    Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chimichanga.
    Jean Girard: Mexico.
    Ricky Bobby: Really, smarty-pants? What did French land give us?
    Jean Girard: We invented democracy, existentialism, and the Ménage à Trois.
    Cal Naughton, Jr.: Those are three pretty good things.
    Ricky Bobby: Hey.
    Cal Naughton, Jr.: Well that last one’s pretty cool.

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